Best Sarcastic Quotes and Sarcasm Sayings – Funny Sarcastic Relationship Quotes. Who doesn’t like sarcasm? I just like to read and share funny, cool, and humorous pictures of Sarcastic quotes on my social media accounts. I have to say that as you work you will come across funny sarcastic quotes that will really make you laugh out loud. And if you feel blue or have a bad day, reading some inspiring and motivating quotes will definitely pull you out of the darkness.

I am a fan of sarcastic quotes and have decided to create this to provide our readers with images of the best and funniest sarcastic quotes, which are short sarcastic quotes to make it easy to post them as a status. Things get more interesting when we read funny sarcastic relationship quotes. Trust me, I’m personally looking for epic relationship quotes so I can pinch and tease my lady.

Funny Sarcastic Quotes 

  • I may Look Calm But in my Mind, I’ve Killed you Three Times
  • I Think I Finally Found my Spirit Plant
  • I just Rolled my Eyes So Hard I Saw my Brain
  • It’s good to have a drink. but it’s bad to forget where you left it.
  • There is a better world. but it is very expensive.
  • Friends come and go, but enemies remain and accumulate.
  • When a man steals his wife, the best revenge is to let him keep her.

Also Read: FREAKY QUOTES AND CAPTIONS TO SHARE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND

Best quotes for sarcasm

  • Housework won’t kill you, but why take the risk?
  • If all went well, it means you were wrong somewhere.
  • Bachelors know more about women than married men; otherwise, they would also be married.
  • 24 hours a day, 24 beers in a crate. Any coincidences?
  • Why drink and drive… when you can smoke and fly?
  • Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but no one wants to die.
  • Wedding rings: the smallest handcuffs in the world.
  • The bank is a place where you will receive money on loan if you prove that you do not need it.
  • Life is a hospital where every patient is obsessed with the desire to change the bed.
  • “I did not fail. I just discovered 10,000 ideas that don’t work. “
  • You’re Just Like Math I Hate Math
  • It’s not my Circus, not my Monkeys But I Definitely know the Clowns
  • Sometimes I Look at People and think Really that’s the Sperm that Won
  • From the Bottom of my Heart – I Don’t Give A Fuck
  • I’m not always rude and sarcastic sometimes I’m asleep
  • I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat.
  • Look at you, you’re in perfect shape. For a circle.
  • If I had to pay you a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d save a lot of money.
  • You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
  • Sarcasm is my love language
  • Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.
  • You are about as useful as a white crayon.
  • Queen’s Don’t Complete with Hoes.
  • You Inspire my Inner Serial Killer.
  • When Social Distance is Over, Let’s Not Tell Some People.
  • Aliens Probably Ride Past Earth And Lock Their Doors
  • Remember If You Can’t Say Something Nice. Make it Funny
  • I Just Rolled My Eyes So Hard I Saw My Brain
  • The Stuff You Heard About Me Is A Lie, I’m Way Worse
  • Grammar. The Difference Between Knowing Your Shit And Knowing You’re Shit.
  • An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Through It Hard Enough
  • Cancel My Subscription! Your Issues Are Not Worth My Time And Effort.
  • Being Hated and ignored Makes My Life A Whole Lot easier to manage.
  • “I am Not Young Enough to Know Everything.”
  • “Mirrors Can’t Talk, Lucky For You They Can’t Laugh Either.”
  • “If Anything Can Go Wrong, It Will.”
  • Actually, The Entire Universe revolves around Me!
  • Boy: Do You Have Any Sense?   Girl: Ya, Do You Want Same?
  • If You’re Too Open-Minded Your Brains Will Fall Out.
  • Silence is Golden, and Duct Tape is Silver.
  • “I am Not Young Enough To Know Everything”
  • I Never Forget A Face. But in Your Case, I’ll be Glad To Make An Expectation.
  • Marriage has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking For, Go Live With A Car Battery.
  • Please Don’t Interrupt Me When I’m Ignoring You.
  • If You Listen Closely You Care to Hear Me Not Caring.
  • I Correct Autocorrect More than Autocorrect Corrects Me.
  • You’re just like math. I hate math
  • I have multiple personalities and none of them I like you
  • You Look Like A Before Picture
  • You are living proof that God has a sense of humor
  • Sometimes when I close my eyes. I can’t see
  • People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician
  • I’m sorry did I roll my eyes out loud?
  • I know I’m a handful but that’s why you got two hands
  • If ever say ”Do you want me to be honest” Say no.
  • Guys with an eye patch and three fingers sell the best fireworks
  • Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? – Top Snarky Quotes
  • You can’t photoshop your ugly personality
  • SHHH no one cares
  • Dear phone, If you don’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, You wouldn’t have died so quickly
  • A woman’s apology, I’m sorry but it was your fault – Top Funny Quotes
  • Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies
  • Money talks mine always says ”Goodbye”
  • Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself call me. I’ll laugh at you
  • I need to special distance from the kitchen. I tested positive for fat ass
  • Zombies eat brains. Don’t worry, You’re safe – Positive Funny Quotes
  • If only closed minds came with closed mouths
  • Remember When I Asked For Your Opinion – Funny Sarcastic Quotes
  • My Alone Time is Sometimes For Your Safety
  • It’s OK if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right
  • My Level of Sarcasm Has Gotten to the Point Where I Don’t Even Know if I’m Kidding or Not
  • Me: Goodnight.  Brain: Pssst  Me: What?  Brain: What Disease Do You Think We Have? – Best Funny Quotes
  • Once Upon a Time, I Was Sweet and Innocent. And Then Shit Happened
  • I Wish People Come With a 30 Second Tailor. So I Can See What I’m Getting Myself Into
  • It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste
  • My Doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said: ”No, we all seem to enjoy it” – Sarcastic Funny Quotes on Life
  • People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer
  • Why was the cook arrested? He began an egg
  • Be careful what you tell people A Friend Today could be an Enemy tomorrow
  • Don’t Underestimate My Ability to find shit out – Snarky Quotes
  • Only two things change in your life. Your age and your outlook
  • You Reminded Me of a Penny. Two-Faced, and not worth much
  • You were my cup of tea, But I drink champagne now

Interested Reading: Sunflower Quotes To Inspire and Brighten Your Day

Sarcastic relationship quotes

  • I Need to teach my facial expressions. How to use inside their voice – Funny Relationship Quotes
  • Mirrors Don’t lie And Lucky For You They Don’t Laugh
  • My Boss Told Me to Have a Good Day So I Went to Home
  • I love sarcasm it’s like punching in the face but with word
  • After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF
  • Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it – Funny Sarcastic Quotes
  • I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking
  • “I want to apologize to anyone who has not offended me yet. Please wait. We will contact you soon.”
  • “Keep your mouth shut when you speak.”
  • I love to listen to lies when I already know the truth.
  • ‘You hear better when you close your mouth.’
  • Of course, I’m still talking to myself. Sometimes I need the opinion of an expert.
  • You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. Please behave as such!
  • Don’t you like me? There’s no problem. I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
  • If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb on your ego and jump into your IQ.
  • If you don’t want sarcastic answers, stop asking stupid questions.
  • I return your nose. I found him in my business!
  • I wish you one day to have a life as beautiful as you present it on Facebook.
  • When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work in case you didn’t know.
  • Sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off.
  • What’s a queen without her king? Well historically speaking, more powerful
  • ‘They say good things take time. That’s why I’m always late
  • I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions – Top Sarcasm Quotes
  • Just burned 2000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart
  • Please cancel my subscription to your issues
  • I’m 99% angle, but oh, that 1%
  • It’s OK if you don’t like me. Not everyone has perfect taste. Funny Quotes for Daily Life
  • I like sleeping because it’s like being dead without the commitment
  • Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you
  • If Someone Asks “Are You Crazy?” Simply Reply “Yes.” Boom. End of Discussion.
  • My Doctor asked if Anyone in my Family Suffers Form Mental Illness. I Said: “No, We All Seen to Enjoy it.
  • Feed Your Own EGO I’M BUSY – Cool Funny Quotes
  • I am Not Lazy I am on Energy Saving Mode
  • My Luck is Like a Bald Guy Who Just Won a Comb
  • “ARE YOU FREE TOMORROW” NO, I’M EXPENSIVE”
  • “I’m not a hot mess I’m a spicy disaster”
  • Please Cancel my Subscription to Your Issues – Top Funny Quotes
  • Life Is Full Of Disappointments And I Just Added You To The
  • Everything You’ve Ever Wanted is on the Other Side of Fear
  • I wish Everything was as Getting Fat

Funny sarcastic quotes

  • Your ass is extremely jealous now for all the shit you put in your mouth.
  • Everyone has the right to be stupid. But honestly, you are abusing privilege.
  • Sorry for being late, I didn’t want to come.
  • Sorry, do you remember asking for your opinion? Not!? Me neither.
  • Until a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he is wrong.
  • You tried everything you could and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.
  • Trust me you Can Dance to Vodka
  • Some People Just Need High Five – Sarcastic Funny Quotes on Life
  • Never Take Advice from me You will End up Drunk
  • I Hope One Day you Choke on the Shit you Talk
  • Hey I found your Nose it was in my Business
  • I would Slap you But Shit Slaptters
  • TOUGH TIMES DON’T LAST, TOUGH PEOPLE DO – Snarky Quotes
  • Don’t Study me, you won’t Graduate
  • Here is a Tissue you have a Little Lip Bullshit on your Lip
  • The Trash Gets Picked up tomorrow be Ready
  • Bitch Please your Birth Certificate is an Apology Letter from the Condom Factory – Funniest Quotes
  • IF YOUR PHONE DOESN’T ITS ME
  • I AM NOT INSULTING YOU I AM DESCRIBING YOU
  • MARRIAGE WHEN DATING GOES TOO FAR
  • IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE FUCK THIS
  • MY ALONE TIME IS SO SOMETIMES FOR YOUR SAFETY – Positive Funny Quotes
  • MY BOSS TOLD ME TO HAVE A GOOD DAY – Funny Sarcastic Quotes
  • I’M IN A GOOD PLACE RIGHT NOW NOT EMOTIONALLY I AM
  • A POEM ABOUT ME I HATE MORNING
  • ARE YOU ALWAYS SO STUPID IS TODAY A SPECIAL OCCASION
  • EXERCISE MAKES YOU LOOK BETTER NAKED SO DOES TAQUILA IS YOUR CHOICE
  • Reason Why I’m So Unpopular: I Have Everyone – Funny Relationship Quotes
  • ONE DRINK AWAY FROM TELLING EVERYONE WHAT I REALLY THINK
  • OF COURSE, I TALK TO MYSELF SOMETIMES I NEED EXPERT ADVICE
  • THIS WEATHER CONFUSES MY NIPPLES
  • HOW TO BE A GROWNUP AT WORK – Sarcasm Quotes
  • Oh, my Bad. I’m Sorry for bothering you.
  • Oh, you’re Dating my ex Cool, I’m Eating a Sandwich… want those Leftovers too
  • OH DARLING GO BUY A PERSONALITY
  • THE LAST TIME I SAW SOMETIMES LIKE YOU I FLUSHED IT – Sarcastic Quotes for Facebook
  • YOU REMIND ME OF PENNY TWO FACE AND NOT WORTH MUCH
  • My Family want me to get Married Asap But won’t let me go to the corner of the shop myself after 9
  • Take me Back to the night we met, I’ll leave you there.
  • If you Treat Me Like Option, I’ll Leave you Like Choice – Best  Sarcastic Quotes for Instagram
  • I CRIED WHEN YOU LEFT ME BUT I LAUGHED WHEN I SAW WHAT YOU LEFT ME FOR
  • I don’t Believe in Plastic Surgery. But in your case, go ahead.

You may also be interested in Joe Dirt Quotes

  • If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  • Are you always so Stupid or is today a Special Occasion – Best Funny Quotes
  • It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste.
  • My family wants me to Get Married ASAP but Won’t let me go to the Corner Shop myself After ‘9’
  • I CRIED WHEN YOU LEFT ME, – Funny Sarcastic Quotes
  • Oh, my Bad. I’m sorry for bothering you. I Forgot I only exist when you need me for Something
  • PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK AND
  • Sorry, Honey. Sarcasm Falls out of my Mouth, just like Stupid Falls from yours. – Best Sarcastic Quotes
  • “Don’t be afraid of perfection – you can never reach it.”
  • “Half of the world is composed of idiots, and the other half is smart to be able to ignore them.”
  • “I am too smart, sometimes I don’t understand what I am talking about.”
  • “I think I just like to see the dark face of things.
  • Glass is always half air. And crack. And I just cut its lips. And cut a teeth. “
  • “A celebrity is a famous person working hard, then wearing sunglasses to avoid being recognized.”
  • “The prisoner is a person trying to kill you, and then ask you not to kill him.”
  • People who do not want to be slaves are willing to be slaves to the renminbi.
  • I am not a prince, Why do girls always think that they should be a princess when they meet me?
  • A woman’s ignorance is a virtue, I must be too wicked.
  • Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.
  • Don’t be obsessed with your brother, your sister-in-law will beat you up.
  • A real warrior, dare to face his face without makeup.
  • When I am drunk, I am not convinced by anyone, so I will help the wall!
  • How can I lose weight if I don’t eat enough?
  • All problems are ultimately a matter of time, and all troubles are actually self-seeking troubles.
  • When I was young, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.
  • I thought I was very decadent. I just learned today that I was scrapped a long time ago.
  • During the onset of intermittent depression, do not disturb strangers and do not look for acquaintances.
  • If you don’t have medical insurance and life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark.
  • Women are anxious when men do not make money, and women regret when men make money.
  • Men have gold under their knees, but under my knees are foot hairs.
  • I am convinced that there will be a man who will come to this world to be tortured by me.
  • Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with a backstage were picked up, and those without a backstage were beaten to death by a stick.
  • The greatest sorrow in life is that youth is not there, but pimples are still there.
  • ‘It’s my legal duty to be sarcastic when people ask me stupid questions.’
  • ‘The mirror cannot speak. Fortunately, I can’t laugh.’
  • “If you had a dollar for every wise thing you say. You will be poor.”
  • ‘Are you always that stupid? Or is today a special case?’
  • “If you think I am offended. Then you better stop looking for me.”

You May Also be Interested in BadBitch Quotes to Boost Your Confidence

  • ‘If anything could go wrong, it would be.’
  • ‘Everyone looks normal until you know them.’
  • ‘Leaving it to yourself tends to make things worse.’
  • ‘If everything seems to be going well, then you are clearly overlooking something.’
  • “I like satire. It’s like hitting people in the face but with words.”
  • “What we feel and think is largely determined by the state of our glands and gut.”
  • ‘I’m not saying I hate you, I’m just saying you’re literally the Monday of my life.’
  • ‘Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.
  • “I don’t have the strength to pretend that I like you today.”
  • “I’m sorry I offended you for being stupid. I thought you already knew.”
  • ‘Don’t act like you know everything unless your name is Google.’
  • “Always remember that you are unique. like everyone else.”
  • “I want to say go to hell, but I don’t want to work there and see an ugly mug every day.”
  • ‘I don’t forget faces, but I’ll make an exception in your case.’
  • ‘Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing your privilege.’
  • ‘People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face will be healing the world.’
  • “It’s another day with a smile on the outside and a scream on the inside.”
  • ‘If you don’t succeed the first time, skydiving isn’t for you.’
  • “I can explain, but I don’t understand.”
  • “I haven’t gone to bed yet and I can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.
  • “Fighting with me is like being in a special Olympics. You can win, but in the end, you are still a lag.”
  • “At least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”
  • ‘sorry. I know you said hello, but I wasn’t very prepared for a follow-up conversation.”
  • “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But if you do, you will probably be at work.”
  • “I am not sarcastic. I am an intellectual beyond your comprehension.”
  • “Don’t confuse this fake smile with professional body language. If I knew I wasn’t going to lose my job, I’d be slapped in the throat.”
  • ‘Satire, because it is illegal to harass people.’
  • ‘Whoever says there are no surprises should work in our office.’
  • “Oh, I think the apple ate the cheese.
  • I’m busy right now. Can I ignore it later?’
  • ‘It’s the ugliest tower I’ve ever seen, but it compliments your face perfectly.’
  • ‘I’m so clever that I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying.’ – Oscar Wilde
  • “No, there is no need to repeat. I ignored you for the first time.”
  • ‘Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.’
  • “Ugly can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”
  • ‘Are you always this late, or are you making a special effort today?’
  • “If you run as much as your mouth, your body will be good.”
  • ‘Morality is the attitude we take toward people we personally dislike.
  • “Mother’s menu consists of two choices

Sarcastic fake people quotes

  • The crap you hear about me might be true, or it could be as fake as the person who told you.
  • Fake people have an image to maintain, real people just don’t give a shit.
  • Being too nice is almost like a crime nowadays. Fake friends are everywhere.
  • I hate two-faced people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.
  • Say what you feel. It’s not being rude, it’s called being real.
  • Everyone wants the truth but no one wants to be honest.
  • God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
  • Your words mean nothing when your actions are the complete opposite.
  • Sometimes you have to take people for who they say they are because eventually the person they really are will be revealed.
  • Counting other people’s sins does not make you a saint.
  • People are quick to judge but slow to correct themselves.
  • My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
  • Fake friends are easy to find and easy to lose but real friends are hardest to find and hardest to lose.
  • My real friends never hear from me, Fake friends write the wrong answers in the mirror for me.
  • You have nothing to lose. You don’t lose when you lose fake friends.
  • I would so much rather have a few good friends than a lot of fake friends.
  • When you become successful, you will get many false friends and true enemies.
  • I laugh with many but don’t trust any!
  • You always knew after shitty things happened, who your friends really were.
  • Fake is the new trend and everyone seems to be in style.
  • In life, you have a choice: Bitter or Better? Choose better, forget bitter.
  • They use different people for different things for their own benefit.
  • Fake friends can cause much more damage to you than a real enemy.

Sarcastic quotes about ungrateful people

  • An ungrateful man is like a hog under a tree eating acorns but never looking up to see where they come from. Timothy
  • There is no vice greater than that of ingratitude.
  • You will never see a happy ungrateful person.
  • Man is, beyond dispute, the most excellent of created beings, and the vilest animal is a dog, but the sages agree that a grateful dog is better than an ungrateful man.
  • An ungrateful man is a tub full of holes.
  • The saddest of all hearts is one without gratitude.
  • Ingratitude is the essence of vileness.
  • The most extraordinary kindness will not bind the unappreciative.
  • Every seed is the root of ungratefulness.
  • People do not remember the million times you have helped them, only the one time you did not.

Also Read: Rosa Salazar Quotes

More Than 250+ Sarcastic Quotes with Images

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