120+ best of Joe Dirt Quotes

Enjoy these Joe Dirt Quotes that will keep you laughing!Joe Dirt is that movie about a character who has been knocked down by life, then kicked while he was down over and over.

Joe goes on more adventures than most of us will ever be on, because he is willing to keep trying. The great thing about Joe Dirt is that he doesn’t let negativity keep him down no matter what might have happened.He lost his family, jobs, and much more, but he is always chasing his dream and he is a good friend. In the end, those friends of his who are real friends come through for him and show him what family really is.

Best Joe Dirt quotes and sayings

• “Life’s a garden, dig it.” – Joe Dirt
• “You want me to put my ear to the ground and listen for hoofbeats, check for footprints, look for broken twigs? This is the modern era. That stuff doesn’t work anymore.” – Kicking Wing
• “And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon.” – Joe Dirt
• “My name is Joe Dirt, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.” – Joe Dirt
• “Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
• “Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
• “When bad pets go bad, dang.” – Joe Dirt
• “Keep on, keepin’ on” – Joe Dirt
• “If my calculations are correct, this will create ice… oh no, killer mustard gas!” – Joe Dirt
• “Now, this ain’t no flapjack. I’ll go real easy. I won’t look.” – Joe Dirt
• “You can’t have “no” in your heart. “No” is not an option, brother.” – Joe Dirt
• “Here on earth, we call this place a ‘town.’ A ‘town’ is a place where everyone hates you.” – Joe Dirt
• “Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back?” – Joe Dirt
• “Life is too short to waste doing nothing, make everyday count because we all don’t know when we will leave this world. Cherish every moment you have with loved ones and never regret anything in life, because everything happens for a reason. Look at every day and smile that God has kept you alive, cause there’s nothing sweeter than life.” – Joe Dirt
• “Things get the darkest before dawn.” – Joe Dirt

Joe Dirt Quotes Worth-Sharing

• “My name is Joe Dirt, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.” – Joe Dirt
• “Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
• “Keep on, keepin’ on” – Joe Dirt
• “Now, this ain’t no flapjack. I’ll go real easy. I won’t look.” – Joe Dirt
• “Here on earth, we call this place a ‘town.’ A ‘town’ is a place where everyone hates you.” – Joe Dirt
• “Life is too short to waste doing nothing, make everyday count because we all don’t know when we will leave this world. Cherish every moment you have with loved ones and never regret anything in life, because everything happens for a reason. Look at every day and smile that God has kept you alive, cause there’s nothing sweeter than life.” – Joe Dirt
• “Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back?” – Joe Dirt
• “Things get the darkest before dawn.” – Joe Dirt
• “You can’t have “no” in your heart. “No” is not an option, brother.” – Joe Dirt
• “If my calculations are correct, this will create ice… oh no, killer mustard gas!” – Joe Dirt
• “When bad pets go bad, dang.” – Joe Dirt
• “Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
• “And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon.” – Joe Dirt
• “Life’s a garden, dig it.” – Joe Dirt
• “And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandy was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.” – Joe Dirt.
• “You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?” – Joe Dirt.
• “Why did you do that to me? I was only eight years old – I was just a little kid. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a kid and have nobody around to talk to? No one that cares if you’re alive or dead? Every day you just think you’re worthless and there’s a void in your life?” – Joe Dirt.
• “There are three rules when dealing with a deadly alligator. And yes, they are deadly, don’t kid yourself. Rule number one, I’m number one. You hear that? I like to kid around. Rule two, the croc’s number two. Now before I begin…” – Joe Dirt.
• ”You like to see homos naked? Guy likes to see homos naked, that doesn’t help me.”
• “Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?” – Joe Dirt.
• “Hell no, man I don’t listen to that crap! I’m a rocker, dude through and through. Here’s my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen, not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep.” – Joe Dirt.
• “Here we go, I’m a bit of a crocophile, so don’t try this at home. This here’s Rocky, and he ain’t no puppy. Now, let’s see if Rocky’s got some cavities.” – Joe Dirt.
• “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
• “Well, huh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick ’em in mailboxes, you drop ’em in toilets, shove ’em up bullfrogs asses,” – Joe Dirt.
• “I’m not talking about a posi-trac; I’m talking about me. How long did you look for me before you gave up? How lone were you riding in that car before you realized I wasn’t in it? Exactly how long?” – Joe Dirt.
• “But I’m pickin’ it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say?” – Joe Dirt.
• “My name is Joe Dirte, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.” – Joe Dirt.
• “You’re saying you have no black cats, Roman candles or screaming meemies? Come on. You don’t got no ladyfingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs… church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippedy-doodas, crap flappers?” – Joe Dirt.
• “You really think you can match that slant 6 of yours against this 426 hemi? Huh? Well then let’s do it little boy!” – Charlene the Gator Farmer.
• “Nunamaker! Nunamaker! That’s what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon! My last name’s Dirt, her last name’s Nunamaker! That’s my parents’ last name!” – Joe Dirt.
• “Yeah, you want a match? My face and your ass! How ’bout that friend? Huh? I mean, your ass and my face, what’s up?” – Joe Dirt.
• “People like that security guard. They don’t really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. Alls I got to do is keep bein’ a good person. No matter what, good things’ll come my way. Everything’s gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart.” – Joe Dirt
• “So your gonna’ tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?” – Joe Dirt.
• “To tell you the truth, brother, between you and me. The thing with the dog is coming off a little fruity. That’s just me talking.” – Joe Dirt.
• “The guy doing the police sketches thought I was messing with him because my dad came out looking like Father Time and my mom came out looking too butch and looking way too much like Richard Ramirez. You know the Night Stalker, remember him?” – Joe Dirt.
• “Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showing’ and it was grossing’ everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you…” – Joe Dirt.
• “But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say.” – Joe Dirt.
• “You guys got something’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone? I got a backup mic right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up.” – Joe Dirt.
• “So, what you’re telling me, is that you’re so ingrained with White Trash, that your facial hair just grows in all white trashy like that?” – Zander Kelly
• “Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin’ and it was grossin’ everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up, and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you…” – Joe Dirt
• “You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?” – Joe Dirt
• “You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone? I got a backup mike right here. Check one-two, testing, testing. Yup, they both workin’, and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up?” – Joe Dirt

Related: 170+ FREAKY QUOTES AND CAPTIONS TO SHARE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND

Funny Joe Dirt Quotes

• “He’ll stop humping as soon as he’s done.” – Miss Clipper
• “And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?’” – Joe Dirt
• “There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.” – Joe Dirt
• “So, what you’re telling me, is that you’re so ingrained with White Trash, that your facial hair just grows in all white trashy like that?” – Zander Kelly
• “What’s the deal with your hair? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?” – Zander Kelly
• “I got the poo on me!” – Joe Dirt
• “You’re talking to me all wrong… It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? Boom. Get her to sew that!” – Clem
• “It’s like the cartoons, I’m seein all tweet tweet.” – Joe Dirt
• “Might as well ask why is a tree good? Why’s a sunset good? Why are boobs good?” – Joe Dirt
• “His name’s Rocky and he ain’t no puppy.” – Joe Dirt
• “Won’t kill you.” –Joe Dirt Hitchhiking Sign
• “Why don’t you practice fallin down, I’ll be there in a minute.” – Joe Dirt
• “Well, that might be your problem. It’s not what you like. It’s the consumer.” – Joe Dirt
• “Ma’am, you should never drink the bong water.” – Joe Dirt
• “All aberration radio, all the time.” – Joe Dirt

Joe Dirt quotes about the moon

• “Well say it, don’t spray it brother, Dang!” – Joe Dirt
• “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” – Joe Dirt
• “Look at him, fellas! You cryin’ boy? You cryin’ boy?! Maybe go back down to Mcdonalds, get you some whaaburgers and some french cries!” – Robby
• “I’m a rocker through and through. Here’s a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Leppard.” – Joe Dirt
• “Well I didn’t know she was my sister when I kissed her, so it’s not my fault. And she’s one of the hottest girls on the planet.” – Joe Dirt
• “Well, it ain’t a meteor.” – Meteor Bert
• “Well well, lookey here. Corn off the cob.” – Joe Dirt
• “Watch the guns baby, that’s how I get the gals.” – Joe Dirt
• “Hey! If you want to impress me, get a mullet hairstyle.” – Joe Dirt
• “You see that moon? You don’t know how many nights I spent alone staring at that moon wondering if, at that exact moment, my mom or my dad was looking at the same moon. And for that brief second, we were together again, kind of, you know?” – Joe Dirt

Other Joe Dirt Quotes

• “Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin’ and it was grossin’ everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up, and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you…” – Joe Dirt
• “To tell you the truth, brother, between you and me. The thing with the dog is coming off a little fruity. That’s just me talking.” – Joe Dirt
• “So your gonna’ tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis? – Joe Dirt
• “Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das or crap flappers?” – Joe Dirt
• “You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?” – Joe Dirt
• “But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say.” – Joe Dirt
• “Your nuts are frozen to the porch. Oh, that sucks.” – Joe Dirt
• “They’re large and in charge, and they’re lookin for chickies.” – Joe Dirt
• “Like them spinnin tires, do ya?” – Joe Dirt
• “You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone? I got a backup mike right here. Check one-two, testing, testing. Yup, they both workin’, and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up?” – Joe Dirt
• If you are making a meme – it’s undeniable that some of the best Joe Dirt quotes are fit to be made as memes. It’s wittily composed, and using it as memes may intensify the meme ‘powerful vibe’
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Famous Joe Dirt Sayings

• Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
• Joe Dirt: Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton’s ass I’d take a bite.
• “I got the poo on me!”
• “Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.”
• Old Cajun Man: Everybody knows that. God damn, boy.
• If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
• “That shit’ll buff out.”
• Little Joe Dirt: Can I push him off of me?
• “Actually it got towed away two years ago.”
• YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FOR-EEK. You’re going to Hell, man.
• Now, this ain’t no flapjack, so I’m gonna be real careful, I won’t look.
• “And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?’”
• You’re talking to me all wrong… It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!
• “Now, this ain’t no flapjack, so I’m gonna be real careful, I won’t look.”
• “You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing.”
• “You’re talking to me all wrong. It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!” – Clem

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